It can't really have been almost 6 weeks since the last post. Goodness, time flies!!
Well, the Boyles family has experienced much change in the last 6 weeks. That would be extremely understated.
First, let me mention that God is far greater than we deserve. I can say with confidence that our cup overflows. We are blessed beyond measure.
I recently took a business trip to my company's headquarters in Ohio. I must admit, I was dreading the trip. I don't particularly like traveling for work as it takes me away from my family. But sometimes we have to do things we don't want to as that is what God calls us to do. Since he has placed me in my current job, I must serve him and honor him by respecting those in authority (who scheduled my trip). It was a great time away. I mean that in the best way as it showed me how much my family is a part of my daily life and how incomplete I feel without them. We were able to do video calls in the evening but it is definitely not the same. There is something so special about scooping up your children and holding them...true flesh and blood. When I imagine life before children, it is hardly comparable to scoop up your dog or cat and cuddle them...though we tried. There is something just indescribable about being tackled at the door before you can even pull your key out of the doorknob. It is the most wonderful feeling to be greeted with excitement and musings of the day. Children are such a blessing!
That being said, when I arrived home that Friday afternoon, my wife informed me that our clan would be growing. After three and a half years of infertility, our waiting had come to an end. At last, God was going to bless us with another child through the womb. We, needless to say,were both ecstatic. A bit in shock, but thrilled just the same. This added to the news of another adoption. I must admit, I was very confused. The adoption seemed to fall in our lap much like our last adoption with Christyana. We put it in God's hands when we initially heard about the opportunity last August or so. We made known our interest and then proceeded into a period of waiting. Then, all of a sudden, we hit the gas pedal. All of this naturally made our heads swim. I must admit, that I questioned God asking, "What is your plan here?" We rejoiced, don't misunderstand me but all I could see was the enormity of the situation. We have prayed for so long for God to enlarge our family and to go from two children to six in under a year is a massive change. We were so thrilled when God brought along Christyana. But suddenly I found myself trying to discern God's will. Ultimately, we turned back to Him to say "your will be done."
Once again, his will IS being done. Through his sovereignty, we miscarried our new baby a few days later. I must admit, that was extremely difficult to understand and accept. My wife was devastated, understandably. In my own depravity, I tried to minimize it and say, "It was just a lump of tissue?" It was then that I had to stop dead in my thought process and recognize the ramifications of my own logic. It hit me between the eyes; the question I had just posed..."When does life begin?" I have always been a vocal pro-life advocate but this threw me for a loop. "Did I really just ask that?" "Am I really questioning what I KNOW to be true?" In my mind I immediately reviewed known scriptures. I knew that in this moment where my wife needed my support, this was not the time to question theology. Thankfully I could cling to the Word of God as my source.
Now, a week after all of this (and, yes, I have repented :) ), I can look back and without any doubt scream from the mountain top that LIFE BEGAN AT CONCEPTION. That "lump of tissue" which, in a moment of insanity, I tried to label it; was created in the image of an Almighty and Righteous God. It took His hand to knit the two elements for conception to occur. Trust me, we tried for 3 and half years to make it happen, we couldn't. It required His blessing and so therefore, it was His to give and His to take. While we hadn't seen a heartbeat, or a smile or heard a giggle, that baby was alive and being formed in the hands of our Creator in Lauren's womb. I am not sure I have fully grieved the loss yet, admittedly. But we have to trust that our baby is in heaven with the Father anxiously awaiting our arrival, Lord willing. The moment we saw two pink lines, we fell in love and began making plans for our child. There is no logic in the universe that could convince me that this life didn't exist merely because we couldn't see it, feel it, or hold it. Our prayer for our children has always been for them to grow in the fear and admonition of the Lord and make an impact for His kingdom and for His glory. Even though we only knew of our baby 5 short days, our life has been dramatically changed and we will never be the same. Their impact may not have been on many souls, but it certainly impacted mine. For those that have endured one miscarriage or multiple miscarriages, you understand. For those that haven't, I pray you are spared that event. The hardest part was breaking the tragic news to our 6 year old. He cried. It broke my heart to see him mourning.
This brings me back to our adoption... (I know this post is a bit "stream of consciousness" but bear with me). He has turned our mourning into dancing. I am excited to announce we are moving forward with our 2nd adoption. Through God's ultimate grace and mercy our family will grow by 4 more feet this year; two sisters. We are completely overwhelmed by His work. We are adopting two precious little girls. We had a court hearing today for the younger of the two. We have a few more items to tie up on our end to get fully licensed but it looks like in just about 2 weeks we will welcome these two little girls into our home, family and lives. God is so gracious!!! We are in awe...
From 2 to 5...and counting...
