March 30th is a special day in our family. Why, you might ask? Because it is the day the family of 4 became a family of 5. We grew by 2 little feet. 6 months and 2 weeks prior, we brought home our precious baby girl after only having found out about her less than 12 hours earlier.
So tomorrow marks the 4th anniversary of Christyana's finalization. If you have adopted a child, then you know the pain, sweat and tears that goes into making a child permanently a part of your family. For those that haven't experienced that...let me give you a brief picture. In the state of Texas (at the time), when you took custody of a child you wanted to adopt, the birth mother had up to 30 days to change her mind. We have known of several instances where this has happened. It is heart wrenching to hold a baby in your arms thinking they will be yours forever only to have them ripped out a few days later. Having 3 failed adoptions, we can relate on some level. The first one, we never held the baby. However, the other two...the girls were in our home for almost 3 years. But I don't want to focus on the sad today.
As I was saying...when you take custody of a child, there are a lot of unanswered questions. Will I love this child as I love my own biological children (if there are any)? Will we actually be able to adopt? What happens now? Those are just a few that went through our minds at the time. The answer to the first is a resounding YES!!! I never imagined being able to love a child that didn't come from us. But the moment we set eyes on her, we were in love! I know many adoptive parents have gotten that question. The best answer I have is...Love multiplies, it doesn't divide. If you wonder if you could ever love an adopted child as much as your biological children...go adopt a child and see how God give you the ability to love like you have never known. Don't get me wrong, I don't love any one of my children more than the others. I just never imagined the kind of love I would have for a child I barely knew.
For all adoptions, the state requires a minimum of 6 monthly post-placement visits before you can finalize. So with each visit we worried if something would happen that would take our little girl away from us. We had a wonderful social worker and each visit was delightful but there was always that bit of apprehension.
The day finally came when we had passed all the "tests" and survived all the questioning and worrying. March 30, 2012 was court day. We chose to finalize in San Antonio as the courts in Houston were backed up and were more expensive. After spending the money to do a private adoption (which there is no cost too great, mind you) we trimmed wherever we could. We decided to make a mini vacation out of it. We hadn't gotten away in quite some time. We had been living in a bubble for the 6 months prior due to Christyana's health concerns. We were finally ready to make her a Boyles, legally. We had a very nice attorney who walked us through the process for the day. It was a BIG day.
Like any other parent planning for a special occasion, we spent some time figuring out what she would wear for her big day. We settled on a cute little dress with butterflies on it. The butterflies, to us, signified "a new beginning and new life." As usual the traffic was fairly heavy getting from Houston to San Antonio. My sweet wife made me stop at 3 Payless shoe stores so we could find the perfect shoes to match our baby girl's dress. Little did we know this would become part of our little diva's personality. Four years later, she is a fashionista. But we arrived at the courthouse and anxiously waited outside the courtroom. There was still a part of me that wanted to pinch myself to make sure this was real. I had visions of the birthmother waltzing in there and telling us it was all a joke and that we were not really going to be able to adopt her. Thankfully, that didn't happen.
We finalized and spent a wonderful weekend celebrating. So as a note to our precious baby girl...Christyana, you are a treasure and truly a gift from God. We weren't ready for the amazing blessing you are. After our first failed adoption, we were nervous about losing you, too. Looking back I can see that the momentary pain we felt in losing Diana prepared us to appreciate the joy of having you. We wouldn't trade you for a million Dianas. You add such spice to our family and we wouldn't be the same without you. With each hug and kiss we fall in love with you more! Your sweet, high pitched voice; your amazing ability to entertain yourself by singing anytime and anywhere; your incredible capacity to make anyone who crosses your path, smile; your love for Elsa and Anna; your affinity to make friends with older girls and convince them to bring you candy...we treasure every bit of what makes you uniquely you! You light up our lives and we will forever love you!
All of our love,
Mommy and Daddy!!
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